locked on the balcony
While trying to do chores I managed to lock myself on my balcony.
my grandfather's funeral speech
This is the text of the speech I gave at my grandfather's funeral, along with some notes for anyone who has a speech of their own to right.
my Omas funeral
I spoke at my Grandfather's funeral, but could not do so at my Oma's funeral.
turning thirty
And then, quite suddenly, I turned thirty.
turning thirty-six
Years ago, I wrote on turning 30. Now I'm reached another milestone (mill stone?).
recommended content
Links to the websites of friends who have them and/or journals/blogs.
a difficult name
My last name is German in origin, and most English speakers (and spellers!) can't get it right.
turning forty
Wow, I've turned forty. And it's wrought some changes!

But then everything got really fuzzy and the next thing I know, was that I was naked next to a guy I had never seen before in my entire life. And that day I woke up was my birthday.
I left the house immediately without calling anyone and the cops were out in the apartment hall. They grabbed my shoulder and took me to a hospital where they checked me for HIV.
I tested positive and started cry. I never wanted to tell my parents, so I went to my party and was trying to have a good time. When all of my friends were about to sing happy birthday to me, they stood me up on the table, and started singing. Then the same guy who had raped me came in and I started crying.
My parents made me tell them what had happened and it seemed like they didn't even care about me. So I was just left alone and no one ever wanted to help me. No one would even talk to me about it.
I live in San Diego and never really ventured farther north than San Francisco or West Virginia. The idea that people live in the frozen tundra of Canada just blows my mind. I just like the warm weather I guess.
By the way, I'm 24 yrs old; so not too much younger than you. And yes, I do have a real life; just procrastinating studying or getting a good nights sleep is all. I have finals for school tomorrow. I go to UCSD. So, just thought I should say something since you have provided me with so much entertainment. Take care and good luck dealing with the jack-hammers!
Good luck with the hunt for woodworking tools!
Music played in the background but, was unidentified! In the large family-room crowds of young men and women talked amongs each other with beers and wine in one hand. I remember seeing two family dogs...particularilly pitbulls, they didn't bark at my presence. I thought it was strange that it wasn't
Yeah, pretty messed up huh? I mean, I did'nt do anything like that....Hell no, it was really wierd. It was like I was living someone elses life, I did'nt recognize anything that related to things that exist in my life........
The house that I was in was large, a rich home. Nothing like my house! Two dogs? I don't have pets!
Plus It was my birthday, people that I did'nt know were there, and what made it strange was that I was a girl who ahd broken up with some guy....
He came by to the party and asked me to go with him to the liqour store. He drove passed a isolated road at 90 miles per hour, and was menacing me with his fist.
I was emmotionally distrought, in conflict with him shouting "Stop your gonna kill us!" I guess he was jealous cuss he slapped my face.
I was in panic and horrified....I had never felt soo vunerable in a dream before. Soo fragile and powerless.....like I was'nt a man. Shit, it was messed up! It just was'nt me!
Anyways he tried to drive into a lake, atempting to kill me and himself. I turned the steering wheel rapidly to avoid disaster but,instead he pushed me towards the door, decided to change directions. He drove straight into a conctrete fence in someones back yard.
The man was killed on impact, and I was critically injured yet I still managed to pull him out of the car corpse and all. Police, investigaters, and ambulances surrounded the scene asking quetions......everything else was blurry....but I remember taking a bubble bath crying and all fucked up and emmotional.
Although I am not so sure it was a dream, I think I astral projected.
I was in my bed, and for some reason, I flew into the living room. I was suspended in air. I seen the door to the basement open up all by itself.
I floated over to the door and looked down the stairs. It was dark, but suddenly, the vacuum cleaner that doesn't work started up and I could hear it. It was moving on it's own and when it got to the bottom step, it stopped. Even in my dream, I was scared.
I slammed the door and locked it, and I remember leaning up against the door and hoping nothing would come out.
I woke up still afraid that something was in my basement.
I wish I could fast-forward or rewind, some times.