an april fool's .. process manual

Toronto, 2015.04.01

This year we issued a bogus process manual at work on "Accessing the stairs" for April Fools Day. Some favorite clips:

"Access to stairs is limited to the hours of 10AM to 3PM."

"During access, especially in a downward direction, all personnel shall:

Under "loss scenarios", I had:

"04.01-t2 – Personnel injure themselves while using the stairs inappropriately. The Company is exposed to costly and disruptive legal nonsense."

and

"04.01-t6 – Personnel using the stairs in an unsafe manner and without assistance injure themselves but their cries go unheard. Frequent deaths within the firm causes prolonged sense of ennui and malaise."

And there was a permission request form to access the stairs. Of course.

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rand()m quote

(In which I leave the final word to someone else.)

I think a more appropriate first exercise for a burgeoning programmer in training would be:

system.out.println ("Goodbye World");

--brrd